Hemp Olympix

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Sometime in the mid 90s, Chibo, Bob and Michael walked into the Hemp Bar and decided that Mardigrass needed events which would entertain as well as educate, and the Hemp Olympix were born!!

11:30 am : Hemp Olympix registration

Register at Sativa Stadium for the Hemp Olympix! $2 Entry into all HEMP Olympix Events.

12 pm : Tug O’ Drug Peace

Legal Weed versus Bush Buds with the Big Hemp Rope!

Sadly the police have declined our invitation to compete in this famous event. Well, it IS a bit embarrassing to keep losing to the stoners! Maybe they’ll change their mind, but if not, we’ll have a battle between those use legal weed and those who smoke bush buds. The tug is followed by . . .

12.30 pm : Hemp Olympix Bong Throw & Yell and then the Growers Ironperson Events

Hosted by S Sorrensen and Alan Glover

Bong Throw & Yell: Entrants throw a bong full of stinking water as far as possible whilst yelling “Free the Weed!” or a similar sentiment.

Over 50s Bong Throw & Yell: The older I get, the better I was.

Growers Ironperson: Involves lugging a sack of fertiliser and buckets of water around the simulated growing area obstacle course with a tick and leech infested lantana tunnel. The men’s event is a 40kg sack while the women contend with an 18kg sack. The top 5 crawl into the final on Sunday.

The Dealer’s Nightmare – a new event in 2024? We’ve recently heard from the International HEMP Olympix Committee (IHOC) official S Sorrensen that a major change to the HEMP Olympix program has come down from IHOC HQ in Brussels. It seems several of last year’s Nimbin Iron Grower Person Event contestants had taken an inordinately long time to recover and one, a medallist, has still not recovered. IHOC official Alan Glover (yes, there are two IHOC officials in Australia) said, “While we are still battling the consequences of the drug war with illegal unregulated chemical drugs on the street, the committee has decided this event must be suspended until the war is over and respect for drug use returns.” After due consideration by the IHOC, plans are afoot for a replacement gold-medal event reflecting the change from outdoor to indoor growing, another drug war impact. The Dealer’s Nightmare will be a team event testing quick and accurate reactions to police raids . . . check back for more details.

In exciting news, the IHOC is also considering including Correct Weight as an official HEMP Olympix event this year after its growing popularity in the Fringe Olympix. Contestants aim to to fill a baggie with exactly 28.3 grams. Correct weight keeps the bag.

Followed by the . . .

2.30 pm : Fringe Hemp Olympix

Hosted by the Laugh Mob and Baldenstoned

This begins with the Beard and Dread Stash. How much can you hide in your hair anywhere? Followed by Correct Weight where contestants attempt to fill a baggie with as close to an ounce as possible, 28.349 grams.  Seed Sorting, and the crutch and wheelchair obstacle course where contestants will attempt to score a Licence To Care*.

* Extremely rare and almost impossible to get in Australia!

5 pm : HEMP Olympix Joint Rolling [in the Town Hall!]

Hosted by S.Sorensen and Alan Glover

Must burn from one end to another! The 4 Categories:

Speed Roll – Roll a standard 3-paper joint as fast as you can. Joints must include a cardboard filter or will be judged incomplete.

Artistic Roll – Roll the most beautiful joint within 10 minutes with as many papers as you like.

Roll in the Dark – Athletes are blindfolded.

Adverse Conditions Roll – Dependent on weather conditions on the day and the judges’ creativity.

HEMP OLYMPIX – Sport with meaning                                     

S Sorrensen

It’s difficult to determine exactly when the Hemp Olympix began. We know, of course, the modern Hemp Olympix began in 1896 in Athens, attended by 84 athletes, 600 spectators and 2115 police.

We also know that the modern Hemp Olympix was the relighting of the original classical Hemp Olympix played at the base of Mount Olympus more than 2500 years ago, when the Greeks chucked bongs in the nude, joints were rolled with papyrus and the results recorded on vellum.

Cannabis has always been a key element in the evolution of humanity from tree-dwelling primate to upstanding human.

Some evolutionary biologists speculate that the development of an opposable thumb in Homo habilis 2.3 million years ago was due to joint rolling.

Evolutionary theorist Professor Niger Umber theorises that it was in order to harvest the top heads of Cannabis sativa that caused the early human to stand upright.

Cannabis has been essential part of the human story. And so too has sport. Hence the Hemp Olympix.

In 776 BC, the first official Hemp Olympix was held at Olympia, in Greece. Featuring the three traditional sporting disciplines – Bong Throw & Yell, Iron Growerperson Event and Joint Roll – these games were held every four years in honour of Zeus, the God of Competition, and Cannabi, the Goddess of Pot. The athletes, from all over the known world, performed naked, and the winners were given a wreath of Cannabis leaves as a prize to be enjoyed later.

The first modern Hemp Olympix was held in Athens, Greece, in 1896.

The International Hemp Olympix Committee (IHOC), formed in 1894, determined that the modern Hemp Olympix would be an event open to all nationalities and genders to celebrate sport, Cannabis and the human body.

The 1896 Athens Hemp Olympix was a huge success.

After that first Hemp Olympix, the Games flourished, being held every four years, as was the ancient custom. But the IHOC decided in 1904 that the Hemp Olympix would be held in different towns and cities around the world.

The Hemp Olympix now attracts teams from around the world, from Portugal (where Cannabis is legal and the Portugese Hemp Olympix team is funded with money saved from dropping the War on Drugs) to Russia (where war and government are funded by the War on Drugs).

In May, 1993, the Hemp Olympix was held for the first time in Australia, in a village called Nimbin, as a sporting resistance to a tyrannical suppression of the burning bush funded by climate change denial and alcoholic dementia.

Since then, 135 countries have hosted the Hemp Olympix.

Nimbin has vowed to host a MardiGrass Hemp Olympix every year until the ridiculous laws of Cannabis prohibition are repealed.

In 2003, two Australian blokes became international Hemp Olympix Officials, having undergone their Integrity Assessment, having passed their Knowledge of the Rules and Etiquette for the Games of the Hemp Olympix Examination, and having received a very positive result in their Drug Test.

Alan Glover and S Sorrensen now spend their time travelling to Hemp Olympix around the world, making sure the rules and ethics of the games are adhered to.

They officiate at the annual Hemp Olympix at the Nimbin MardiGrass where athletes from around the globe compete for prizes, glory and the sheer fun of it.

You too can celebrate all that is good in humanity, make fun of all that is ridiculous (like the marijuana laws), and have stories to tell the kids, by being a athlete in the Hemp Olympix. (Just sign up on the day at the Hemp Olympix Sign Up Table.)

Or you can be a spectator and thrill to a 40-metre Bong Throw & Yell, have your breath taken away at the speed and grace of a sub-20-second Joint Roll or shake your head at the strength and determination of an Irongrower Person.

You can also delve more deeply into the history, the characters, and the rules of the Hemp Olympix by purchasing ‘A Spectator’s Guide to the Hemp Olympix’ from the Nimbin Hemp Embassy.

Throw bong, live long.

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