Cannabis Law Reform Rally

E-mail Nimbin MardiGrass








Updated: Sunday, March 30, 2014 12:59 PM

 

Submitted Jokes

Contributions welcome.

nimbinmardigrass@hempembassy.net



Jokes by TezZ Sp@cE

absence of evidence is noT evidence of absence___

amaZing NASA photo of waTer on mArs...

a womans strengTh...

coWs___

da koala and the lizard___

ecclesiasTic...

eX's...

i kid...

Repeat after mE...

sTaRs

the problem with winning the raT race is you're still a rAt...

there are no misTakes or failUres only less0ns...

w0hmEn....

waTer on mArs


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George Bush and his driver were cruising along a country road one night when all of a sudden they hit a pig, killing it instantly.

Bush told his driver to go up to the farm house and explain to the owners what had happened.

About 1 hour later Bush sees his driver staggering back to the car with a bottle of wine in one hand, a cigar in the other and his clothes all ripped and torn.

'What happened to you', asked Bush.

Driver said, 'Well, the Farmer gave me the wine, his wife gave me the Cigar and his daughter made mad passionate love to me'.

'My God, what did you tell them', asks Bush.

The driver replied, 'I'm George Bush's driver, and I just killed the pig'.
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TezZ...
is sitting in a bAr...
mouthing off that he kNows...
everybody...
so this guy...
bets him a thousand bucks...
that the next person...
to walk in to0 da bAr...
wouldn't know him...
somEbody walks in...
& sezZ...
hey TezZ wazZ up...
so da guy bets him...
ten thousand bucks...
he wouldn't know...
the first person they see...
outside...
down the street...
so they go...
and see somEonE coming...
she says...
TezZ how you been babe...
flustered...
the guy bets him hundred thousand...
he doesn't know the president...
so they drive up to parliament...
and the security guard says...
TezZ you know...
you can't just show up here like this...
a car pulls up...
the window rolls down...
the president says...
TezZ is all good...
they talk for a bit...
then...
outraged...
da guy bets him cool million...
he doesn't know the pope...
so they take a plane down to romE...
and TezZ SezZ...
ok...
now watch up there...
on that balcony...
i'm gonna comE out there...
with the pope...
TezZ goes up...
only to see da guy passed out...
he goes back down and asks...
what...
surprised that i know the pope...
da guys say naa...
somEbody walked up behind mE...
and asked...
who's that chap up there with TezZ...
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TS
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The Ant works hard in the withering heat all summer building its house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The Grasshopper thinks the Ant is a fool and laughs & dances & plays the summer away.
Come winter, the Ant is warm and well fed. The Grasshopper has no food or shelter so he dies out in the cold.
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Modern Version...

The Ant works hard in the withering heat all summer building its house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The Grasshopper thinks the Ant ' s a fool and laughs & dances & plays the summer away.

Come winter, the shivering Grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the Ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving.

NDTV, BBC, CNN show up to provide pictures of the shivering Grasshopper next to a video of the Ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food.

The World stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be that this poor Grasshopper allowed suffering so?

Arundhati Roy stages a demonstration in front of the Ant's house .

Medha Patkar goes on a fast along with other Grasshoppers demanding that Grasshoppers be relocated to warmer climates during winter.

Amnesty International and Koffi Annan criticizes the Indian Government for not upholding the fundamental rights of the Grasshopper.

The Internet is flooded with online petitions seeking support to the Grasshopper (many promising Heaven and Everlasting Peace for prompt support as against the wrath of God for non-compliance).

Opposition MPs stage a walkout. Left parties call for "Bharat Bandh" in West Bengal and Kerala demanding a Judicial Enquiry.

CPM in Kerala immediately passes a law preventing Ants from working hard in the heat so as to bring about equality of poverty among Ants and Grasshoppers..

Lalu Prasad allocates one free coach to Grasshoppers on all Indian Railway Trains, aptly named as the ' Grasshopper Rath ' .

Finally, the Judicial Committee drafts the ' Prevention of Terrorism Against Grasshoppers Act ' [POTAGA], with effect from the beginning of the winter.

Arjun Singh makes 'Special Reservation ' for Grasshoppers in Educational Institutions & in Government Services.

The Ant; fined for failing to comply with POTAGA and having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes; its home is confiscated by the Government and handed over to the Grasshopper in a ceremony covered by NDTV.

Arundhati Roy calls it ' A Triumph of Justice ' .

Lalu calls it 'Socialistic Justice ' ...

CPM calls it the ' Revolutionary Resurgence of the Downtrodden '

Koffi Annan invites the Grasshopper to address the UN General Assembly .

Many years later...

The Ant has since migrated to the US and set up a multi-billion dollar company in Silicon Valley .
100s of Grasshoppers still die of starvation despite reservation somewhere in India.
Because of losing lots of hard working Ants and feeding the Grasshoppers, India is still a developing country...
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